Hey dad

I miss having you around to nag to scold to joke to play with. I really wonder how you're doing. Visit me more often in my dreams, will you. Because for now, its only then will we meet.

I am fine

Been waaaaaaay too long since i last hit the gym with Jen. Was it last year? But anyhow I came home with muscle aches and now i can't lift my arms any higher than my head.. And STILL trying to be a hero, went for a jog with bro after cca today. Started off with a slight drizzle and then the whole shit came down on us but we couldn't stop. Luckily the clouds were only passing by and the rain only lasted for a few minutes.

So today was an entire day spent with cca before the jog and before solo study at drive thru. I swear i swear i swear. That place is always renovating.

Turning in now. Fetching the girls from the airport tomorrow. x

Btw i was pretty fine today. Surprisingly no heart aches. I should keep myself busy all the time ya?

Happy 16th birthday, Sharon

Everyone calls it the sweet 16. But my start of the year hasn't been good at all.

Some things are better left unsaid

I can't really explain how I'm feeling right now. I shouldn't have let myself fall into this situation. To be living everyday feeling the same over and over again, it is, pure torture.

Weeping wall

I'm trying to sort out my thoughts. Everything's in such a mess, my emotions and thoughts all jumbled up, I don't even know which to feel first. 2 years ago, this timing, I was on the phone with this amazing boy, talking about anything and close to everything. Singing songs to him, listening to him humming, listening to the still air, the surroundings. And about an hour or two later, we'd decide to meet on the following day. The day i spent my birthday with someone i just got to know. The birthday which neither of my friends were free to celebrate with me. This night, 2 years ago, was a night that changed everything.

I thought I had all these put behind me. But why is it all dug up once again?

I miss the love we once shared. A love so strong so beautiful. I miss being loved. I miss loving someone. But I guess that doesn't deem to be a valid reason for me to take someone as a substitute. I'm not sure whether it is, but I'm definitely scared. So afraid that I'm beginning to build a wall between us. Please, don't fall in love with me. Because I'm capable of falling for you far too easily. And I don't want to hurt you.